Warped A Scanner Darkly Blows The Mind

     Richard Linklater is known for some pretty different films. He is the mastermind behind such features as Slacker and Before Sunset. With A Scanner Darkly, he reaches new heights in the unusual, though. The movie, which is animated using a technique called rotoscoping and involves animating over the live-actors, is unlike anything you have ever seen and for that reason alone it is worth seeing.

     But there are a plethora of other reasons why you should see A Scanner Darkly, too. Perhaps the biggest is the witty dialogue. I’ll admit that the story had me generally lost and I had great difficulty in following the basic structure of the plot but A Scanner Darkly is the prime example of a movie where, if necessary, that doesn’t really matter. The dialogue alone is more than enough to keep the average moviegoer entertained.

     That said, A Scanner Darkly would be a good motion picture even without the fancy animation process. However, it is a better one because of it. People that complain that animated flicks are just long “cartoons” won’t have much of an argument here due to the subject matter and highly complex tale. It is just a very wild movie with very frank observations about life. It is easy to see yourself as the characters of A Scanner Darkly.

     The plot of A Scanner Darkly takes place in the very near future. A drug called Substance D has taken the population by storm and addiction runs rampant. The government has developed a scramble suit that hide agents’ identities as they keep tabs on addicts and try to get as far up the food chain as possible. One of the agents is Bob Arctor, played by Keanu Reeves. As a result of his own addition, Bob does not comprehend that he has been assigned to keep tabs on himself.

     Outside of the force, Bob spends time with his friends played by Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson and Rory Cochrane. A woman named Donna, played by Winona Ryder, is the object of his affection but her addiction prevents her from inviting any intimacy from Bob. The characters go about their lives until the already intricate web gets severely tangled due to suspicion, paranoia and deceit.

     Anyone can understand the genuine emotion emitted from A Scanner Darkly although the storyline may be comparatively vague. The movie, which is based on the novel written by Philip K. Dick, delivers its commentary on drugs and addiction with a heavy hand (Linklater even adds a special note at the end before the end credits roll) but this is not much of a problem. It is best just to take it as it is along with the rest of the unique qualities.

     Some audiences may be bothered by the odd animation, difficult story and trivial dialogue but A Scanner Darkly is the type of movie in which these elements are the core. The animation helps it stand out from the crowd and become a cult hit, the difficult story requires brain power to be used by the moviegoer and individual conclusions to be made and the dialogue lends itself to many repeat viewings and allows for new discoveries each time.

The Ant Bully A Hill Of A Good Time

     The Ant Bully will likely get a bad reputation due to its similarities to Antz and A Bug’s Life. However, comparing those three motion pictures is like comparing The Jungle Book to Bambi. The fact that animals comprise the cast of characters is not the be all and end all. The same can be said for the flicks with insects for main characters. Once you get past the ridiculous preconceptions about the new computer animated movie, The Ant Bully proves to be quite the feast for the eyes.

     The Ant Bully, which is based on a children’s book of the same name by John Nickle, is playing in the 3D format in select IMAX theatres. The movie is fun without the added dimension but with it the family flick is breathtaking. The achievements in the 3D format deserve a round of applause. Watching the film in 3D is an unforgettable experience – the thing of major theme park attractions. Being a part of the high-flying action in The Ant Bully is an astounding extravagance for moviegoers of all ages.

     The Ant Bully features an all-star list of actors supplying the voices of the characters in the motion picture. Nicholas Cage, Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti and Meryl Streep headline the list with several bonus surprises along the way. Like any good animated flick, The Ant Bully introduces characters that aren’t just applicable to the story at hand but somewhat universal in nature as well as memorable in the long run. The movie is a product of the Warner Brothers studio and the humor is representative of Loony Tunes and Animaniacs cartoons.

     On the other hand, the real star of The Ant Bully is the wondrous animation. Between the imaginative scenes through the eyes of insects and the heart-stopping action sequences, The Ant Bully is a nonstop visual adventure. As I’ve already said, the ideal way to see the movie is on IMAX screens in 3D. Either way, though, audiences will be in for a true treat when they see the movie and kids won’t be the only ones on the edges of their seats.

     The main character in The Ant Bully is Lucas Nickle, a young boy who picks on ants and doesn’t express enough love to his family as a result of being constantly bullied by his peers. Zoc, an ant wizard, creates a magic potion that shrinks Lucas to the size of an ant. Ants haul Lucas back to their hill where the Queen Ant sentences the boy (who they only know as “the destroyer” and “peanut”) to live with the colony and learn how to be an ant.

     Hova volunteers to mentor Lucas with this task, much to Zoc’s dismay, but Lucas doesn’t want to cooperate. Soon, Lucas discovers the ants are more than just tiny insects and, while he misses his family, he begins to fit in with the rest of the colony. Just when things seem to be going along quite well (despite a few obstacles like a bullfrog and a swarm of wasps), Lucas remembers that he signed a contract with an exterminator named Stan Beals. It is now up to him and his new friends to save the entire colony.

     The Ant Bully may sound similar to earlier efforts in animation but it certainly looks significantly more impressive and those that take their families to see it will have a lot of fun. The characters are unforgettable, the story is entertaining, the jokes are funny, the action is fast-paced, the moral is heartfelt and the animation is astonishing. All of these cinematic elements line up for one must-see movie event. The Ant Bully may be hardly making even a tiny footprint at the box office but it is my pick for the best animated movie of the year thus far.

Take Out A Second Mortgage On Monster House

     One of my favorite motion pictures of all time is the modern Christmas classic The Polar Express. Part of that film’s appeal is its special brand of animation called performance-capture. The process that is performance-capture animation involves filming real actors to represent the movements of the animated characters to acquire a more authentic look. Monster House, the latest animated feat to employ this technique, proves that the look is not the only thing that is more authentic as the process may also have a hand in genuine humor.

     Monster House is certainly one of the best family flicks of the year. It was produced by Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg and directed by newcomer Gil Kenan and the collaboration is a near masterpiece. From the very first scene it is obvious that Monster House is not your average animated movie with its unique vision. The animation looks rather similar to claymation and the cinematography (something not often mentioned in reviews of animated flicks) is truly original.

     The creative field does not stop there, though, as the screenplay is filled with very realistic dialogue that feels more natural than some of your own real-life conversations. This makes the jokes significantly more effective than those in most other family flicks. It feels unscripted yet remains tight at every moment. This presents a more enjoyable experience for adults and other moviegoers beyond the target audience of youngsters.

     Unfortunately, as with far too many movies this year, the good things come to an end relatively quickly in Monster House. Cute gags and an eerie atmosphere is simply not enough to entertain those youngsters so the movie pulls out all of the stops and becomes ridiculously chaotic. These action sequences in the second half of the flick remove every bit of charm from the movie and it reverts back to being ordinary. Not only do moviegoers deserve better but they’ve seen it within the same movie.

     Monster House is worth a look, though, since the first half is superior to the other animated efforts made by studios so far this year. The premise is rather different than all of the others, as well, since it focuses on people rather than animals, insects or vehicles. D.J has been watching as his elderly neighbor repeatedly takes the belongings of little kids who get too close to his house. On Halloween, while his parents are out of town, D.J. attempts to recover his friend Chowder’s basketball which has landed on his neighbor’s lawn. The neighbor rushes out to yell at the boy but then collapses and is hauled away by an ambulance.

     D.J. and Chowder soon discover that the house is angry over the loss of its owner and is seeking revenge against the duo. D.J.’s babysitter doesn’t believe the silly story but when her boyfriend goes missing (at the hand of the house) she sets out to find him leaving D.J. and Chowder alone to fight the forces of evil. A girl named Jenny, who is selling candy to homeowners to prepare for trick-or-treating, gets caught in the mix and now the three friends must develop a plan to destroy the house for good and prevent any more people from becoming manure for the lawn.

     That is around the time the movie starts to fall below the extraordinary level. It is not a horrible way to conclude the flick but the climax and resolution is a huge letdown compared to the epilogue and rising action. It is a lot like Cars in the way that the simple scenes outperform the larger ones. Monster House ends up falling apart but it is still an amazing achievement in animation.

Clerks II Worth Your Hard-Earned Minimum Wage

     What do a certain racial slur, a donkey and a troll named Pillow Pants have in common? The answer is simple if you’ve seen the funniest movie of the summer. Each of those things is in Kevin Smith’s Clerks II and they are responsible for some of the biggest laughs you will liberate all year.

     Clerks II is Smith’s follow-up to his cult-classic Clerks, an independent film shot in black and white that basically chronicled the lives of a duo of white collar guys on the job and introduced us to the now infamous Jay and Silent Bob. A few things have changed in the past 12 years, including the film stock which is now in every glorious color of the rainbow, but ultimately the white collar guys are still just that.

     The guys I refer to are Dante Hicks and Randal Graves, played by Brian O’Halloran and Jeff Anderson respectively, who are now 32 years old. When Dante arrives to the Quick Stop convenience store in flames due to Randal leaving the coffee pot on again, the duo get jobs at Mooby’s, a fictional fast food restaurant.

     Trevor Fehrman is added to the cast as Elias, a loser, so to speak, with a fascination with Lord Of The Rings and the upcoming live-action Transformers movie. Rosario Dawson is also present as Becky, a woman who challenges Dante’s engagement to Emma, played by Jennifer Schwalbach Smith. Of course, Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) are back to offer their unusual brand of humor.

     Much like its predecessor, Clerks II is a very loquacious motion picture at heart. Instead of ever becoming boring, dull or otherwise uninteresting, the movie’s amazing humor keeps the audience on their feet. There is not a moment that passes that doesn’t have moviegoers rolling in the aisles.

     Helping to keep the action rolling is a revolving door of cameo appearances including one by Ben Affleck and another by Jason Lee. These additional roles are funny but they are only supplementary to the stars of the film. O’Halloran, Anderson, Fehrman, Dawson, Mewes and Smith are true comedic geniuses.

     Of course, Smith is also deserving of extra credit due to his intense direction and absorbing screenplay. It takes a lot of talent to pull off a comeback such as he did with Clerks II. It is certainly able to satisfy fans of the original while not alienating newcomers from enjoying the comedic event of the summer.

     There is a lot of negative press surrounding Clerks II likely due to its raunchy sense of humor (the finale consists of interspecies erotica). For many, Dante, Randal and the rest of the cast are longtime personal friends. Who could resist applying for a position working alongside these people, especially if it means laughing this hard eight hours a day for the rest of your life?

     We should all be so lucky.

Lady In The Water Sinks

     M. Night Shyamalan is known for such great films as Signs and Unbreakable. In 2004 he released The Village, an effectively eerie motion picture with a disappointing finale worthy of shame. Now, Shyamalan has come out with Lady In The Water, one of the year’s most anticipated theatrical releases. Like so many other high-status flicks this summer, Lady In The Water is a complete mess.

     Instead of employing the usual surprise ending that Shyamalan has delivered in many of his other films, Lady In The Water plays it straight. It is, quite literally, a mature fairy tale. This comes as no surprise, though, since the entire concept was based on a bedtime story Shyamalan told his children. However, cinema requires more than just some writer’s imaginative idea, even if that writer is as creative as Shyamalan.

     For what it’s worth, Lady In The Water focuses on a man named Cleveland Heep played by Paul Giamatti. Cleveland is the superintendent of an apartment complex. There is a strange cast of characters among the tenants and soon the building has a brand new tenant when Cleveland finds a, get this, lady in the water, er, apartment swimming pool.

     The mysterious woman, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, tells Cleveland that her name is Story. Cleveland investigates her existence through some of the tenants and learns that she is a narf, a type of sea nymph from the blue world. He also discovers that Story has appeared to help a writer change the world.

     Cleveland finds this person and, as legend has it, Story is now allowed to go free via an eagle. However, when a monster-like creature called a Scrunt attacks the defenseless Story, Cleveland must rally the tenants to try and help her. It will take the various roles of key players to ensure their mystical mission is a success.

     One of the primary faults that Lady In The Water makes is its attention to cinema. Sometimes, as in independent films, such a trait furthers the artistic relevance of the movie. Yet, in the case of Lady In The Water, the movie’s self-awareness becomes trite. Shyamalan even casts himself as a very important character in the film, adding to the flick’s ultimate lack of credibility.

     The story, while mildly entertaining for a moment, gets far too tedious to remain enjoyable. Shyamalan should have kept this bedtime story in his children’s bedroom and saved audience the hassle of getting wrapped up in it. Without any surprises, Lady In The Water surfaces as one of the year’s worst movies.

     I was never a fan of Shyamalan’s biggest feature, The Sixth Sense, but Lady In The Water takes its place as the worst Shyamalan movie in my book. Even Giamatti couldn’t save the movie from drowning and, much like the captain of a ship, Shyamalan’s reputation went down with it. Fortunately, audiences don’t have to, though. They always have the option of taking a lifeboat over to the service desk and getting a refund or, better yet, not seeing it at all.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend Is A Fun But Forgettable Date

     My Super Ex-Girlfriend is not a better movie than Superman Returns but it is definitely the more enjoyable superhero flick. For that matter, My Super Ex-Girlfriend is both a better movie than The Breakup and the better bitter romance flick. For a short time, all of your fears and preconceptions about the failed loves of your life appear miniscule.

     That is not to say that My Super Ex-Girlfriend is the perfect feature film. In fact, it is far from that. The movie is riddled with clichés and it is extremely easy to figure out where the plot is going fairly early on in the flick. A rocket scientist was certainly not on hand during the screenplay production. Nor was anyone that creative for that matter.

     Yes, My Super Ex-Girlfriend isn’t the most intelligent piece of cinema. Then again, it doesn’t really need to be. All that matters in a movie of this magnitude is that the audience is entertained for an hour and a half and the jokes work. Anything further would have been somewhat unexpected and rather superfluous.

     Instead, what we get is an ordinary yet engaging tale of boy meets supergirl, boy dumps supergirl and boy gets life ruined by supergirl. Luke Wilson plays Matt Saunders, a man who asks a woman played by Uma Thurman out while riding the subway. The woman, named Jenny Johnson, falls hard for Matt when he attempts to save her from a robbery.

     A relationship develops between Matt and Jenny. Matt begins to grow weary of Jenny when she is a bit too powerful in the sack. Matt gets abducted by Professor Bedlam, played by Eddie Izzard, the arch nemesis of the town’s superheroine G-Girl. Matt finds himself hanging from the torch of Lady Liberty but G-Girl saves him before he becomes a human pancake.

     Jenny confesses to Matt that she is G-Girl and their sex-life hits new heights (literally). Jenny begins getting jealous of Hannah Lewis, Matt’s coworker played by Anna Faris. Matt actually is getting closer to Hannah and soon breaks up with Jenny. Now, Matt has someone much worse than Jennifer Aniston or Vince Vaughn ruining his life – Matt is the new primary villain to G-Girl.

     Along for the ride, providing most of the laughs, is Rainn Wilson of television’s The Office playing Matt’s perverted pal Vaughn Haige. Of course Wanda Sykes, who plays Matt’s fed-up boss has a limited number of funny lines, too. The special effects are not spectacular but are good enough to be believable, even in a scene involving a beached shark.

     Forget Kryptonite and possible showmances between celebrities. My Super Ex-Girlfriend offers the best of both worlds and succeeds where two higher-status motion pictures failed miserably. This is one one-night-stand that you won’t regret in the morning. You just might not remember it next week.

You, Me and Dupree Enjoys Limited Welcome

     Considering the high level of annoyance that is emitted from Owen Wilson and the low level of star power that is emitted from Kate Hudson it comes as an enormous surprise that You, Me and Dupree is not an exasperating waste of time. In fact, the motion picture is a pretty effective comedy, supplying enough laughs to make the tired storyline fresh again. I will continue to be weary of features starring Wilson and am still very far from being a fan of Hudson but I’ll admit that You, Me and Dupree is decent summer movie fare.

     My qualms with Wilson go back to Shanghai Noon, an action-comedy the actor starred in alongside Jackie Chan. Since that flick he has consistently played the buddy with a grating personality that always ends up getting on the other characters’ nerves. The problem is that, in doing so, he gets on the nerves of the audience as well. The irony that he would costar in a movie about an annoying guy who moves in with his newlywed best friend is pretty unusual.

     There is no doubt that Wilson gets on the audience’s nerves in You, Me and Dupree – it only takes a moment to realize this based on any one of the movie’s trailers alone. However, the plot eventually takes Wilson somewhere he has never gone (somewhere you can’t see in any of the trailers) and he ends up being, dare I say it, liked by the audience.

     Hudson is another story. I always hear people discussing her sex appeal but I simply don’t see it. For starters, she has the features and figure of a prepubescent girl. Her personality is never much better, either, always coming off as somewhat snobby. Such is the case in You, Me and Dupree. Her house must look a particular way, her father is very powerful and wealthy and she demands the attention of her overworked husband.

     Hudson plays Molly in You, Me and Dupree and Matt Dillon plays her husband Carl. Molly and Carl get married and shortly after their honeymoon Carl’s best friend (and best man) Dupree, played by Wilson, breaks the news of his unemployment and homelessness. Carl invites Dupree to stay with his wife and himself and Dupree happily accepts. Molly is shocked that her husband would make such an offer without consulting her first but allows Dupree to stay.

     Meanwhile, Carl is having problems at work under the judgmental eye of Molly’s father, played by Michael Douglas. Back at home, Dupree becomes a terrible nuisance as he commandeers the couple’s answering machine, destroys their plumbing, asks friends over for sports-viewing parties and has wild adventures with a woman involving butter and candles. Worst of all, though, Carl believes that Dupree is trying and succeeding in the obliteration of his marriage.

     The initial half of You, Me and Dupree is easily represented in the movie’s irritating trailers and there are very few light spots. Fortunately, the latter half of the feature film is a huge step in the right direction, effectively generating laughs and tugging at heartstrings. You, Me and Dupree is still a long way from being a must-see hit but it is hardly half-bad. There are a few better star-driven comedies in theatres this summer but you won’t be disappointed in spending a little less than two hours with You, Me and Dupree.

     Any more, though, might be stretching it a tad.

Little Man Doesn’t Have Big Shoes To Fill

     I like to think that you get what you expect when seeing a Wayans Brothers movie. The 2004 summer smash White Chicks was a horrible excuse for entertainment but it was entertaining nonetheless. That said, Little Man didn’t have very high expectations to meet. It is pretty lucky for that, too, since it couldn’t even reach that low bar that White Chicks set.

     Little Man feels awfully similar to a failed television pilot. There are a few scattered laughs but the overall effect is that of a series of short skits. Some of these skits involving rectal thermometers, nursing mothers and flatulence in bath tubs are far too uncomfortable to ever be worthy of any laughs.

     Still, there are some scenes that actually do work. I am not going to lie for the movie and say that there is a great deal of heart, because there isn’t (despite the movie’s insincere attempts). Yet, there is some kind of amusement that comes with watching a small person with Marlon Wayans’s head scurry around the screen.

     Marlon Wayans plays the peculiar creature, Calvin, who has just been released from prison. He meets up with Percy, played by Tracy Morgan, and is immediately thrust into a diamond heist. Things don’t go so well and the robbers end up fleeing from the fuzz. Calvin ditches the diamond in a woman’s purse and they wait for the police to give up the search.

     Percy dresses Calvin up as a baby and places him on the doorstep of the woman to try and retrieve the diamond. The woman is Vanessa, played by Kerry Washington, and is married to Darryl, played by Shawn Wayans. The couple has been arguing about having a baby and this ugly bundle of joy comes as a blessing to Darryl who has wanted to be a father for some time.

     Since Child Services is closed for the weekend, the couple decide to care for them baby themselves thus buying Calvin some time to get the diamond. There are many obstacles standing in his way, though, such as Vanessa’s grumpy father played by John Witherspoon as well as a mobile. Meanwhile, Percy learns that if the two of them don’t come up with the diamond soon Walken, played by Chazz Palminteri, will make sure they both wind up six feet under.

     Part of the reason Little Man keeps the interest level high is the constant revolving door of cameo appearances by folks from Saturday Night Live, actors who got their starts alongside the Wayans Brothers on In Living Color and even a few from the Happy Madison crowd. The story itself is not nearly as clever or absorbing as that of White Chicks so it is fair to say that Little Man is a step down from its predecessor, albeit a small one.

     Disgusting jokes and low-quality filmmaking aside, Little Man is not necessarily the kind of movie that you can hate. At the very least it is occupying and it never talks down to its viewer. In a way, Little Man can’t be blamed for its audience’s susceptibility to lowbrow humor.

     Such is the primary fault with the flick, though. While this type of comedy passes for entertainment moviegoers are missing a lot of better material playing in multiplexes if they choose to settle for this. All in all, the Wayans Brothers don’t make such horrible feature films but it would be nice if they got increasingly better, even slightly, than the opposite way around.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest Arrr-guably Summer's King

     Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest now reigns supreme over the motion picture industry… at least in box office terms. The first sequel to Walt Disney’s 2003 adventure blockbuster has officially surpassed Spider-Man to seize the highest grossing opening weekend in cinematic history - $132 million. That is a pretty stunning feat although not too surprising. The original caught everyone off-guard, delighting critics and attracting moviegoers of all ages. Disney quickly pushed two sequels into production, the second of which, At World’s End, is slated for release next Memorial Day weekend, and the movie developed a rabid fan base overnight.

     The new installment in the franchise, which was originally based on the Disneyland ride known by the same name, certainly brought those fans (and probably more) to the theatres in droves during its opening weekend and it is likely that very few of them, if any, were disappointed. While the surprise factor is no longer a possibility and high expectations could have spelled the death of Dead Man’s Chest, the movie definitely has the upper-hand against most others playing in theatres this summer. Its action sequences are beyond spectacular leaving audiences on the edges of their seats.

     Well, at least for the most part. While I was entertained by the original Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl, it never quite made me fall in love with it. In other words, I liked it but I didn’t see what all of the fuss was about. The same is true for Dead Man’s Chest. I sat in the nearly sold-out theatre in awe but I left no more excited about the series of films than I was walking in. There is no doubt that Dead Man’s Chest is a very good flick, though it is not terrific.

     The movie works best when the screenplay features no dialogue. As I’ve said, the special effects are amazing and the well-choreographed action sequences are rather exciting. However, as soon as the story kicked into gear I consistently lost interest. For starters, it is very difficult to decipher what many of the pirates are saying. I suppose it takes careful practice to learn the pirate language but it should not be this hard to follow a basic conversation in a popcorn movie. The plot itself is easy to follow but the little details become too minute and plentiful to care much about.

     Dead Man’s Chest begins as Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are arrested for helping Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) escape from custody. A deal is made and Will sets out in search of Captain Jack to retrieve his very special compass in return for Elizabeth’s freedom. He finds Captain Jack on an island where he is about to be burned at the stake by a bunch of natives who wish to release the god they believe to be within him. Will ends up in a giant ball constructed by bones with the crew of Captain Jack’s ship, the Black Pearl.

     After escaping, Captain Jack convinces Will to help him settle a debt with Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), an undead pirate of the eternal sea. Will winds up a slave to Davy Jones along with his father. Meanwhile, Elizabeth has been making her way across the water and eventually runs into Captain Jack. He convinces her to help him free Will by finding a chest containing the heart of Davy Jones. Now, as deception promises to play an integral role in the outcome, it is a race to the chest but they must first elude the Kraken, an enormous sea monster summoned by Davy Jones.

     Dead Man’s Chest is the adventure extravaganza of the summer but don’t expect it to win you over if you aren’t already a fan of the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise. I liked this installment a bit more than its predecessor and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to At World’s End at least a little bit (it is hard not to given the way this one ends). There are a few boring moments and the storyline isn’t perfect, but the feature film has enough action to satisfy even the deepest need for excitement. Get ready for the ride of your yo-ho-yo-ho pirate’s life.

Superman Returns Unable To Leap Tall Expectations In A Single Bound

     Look! Up in the sky! It’ll make you bored! It’s very plain! It’s…

     Well, maybe Superman Returns isn’t that bad, but it is certainly a speeding bullet’s distance away from being super. That is an enormous problem when it comes to what was predicted to be the biggest movie of the year. Last year’s guess, King Kong, lived up to the expectations and was hailed by many critics (myself included) as one of the best movies of 2005. There is no doubt that Superman Returns is a good movie but, then again, so are other recent releases Click and The Omen. I can recommend at least five other movies playing in theatres right now (including the superhero sequel X-Men: The Last Stand) that are better than good and thus superior to the man of steel.

     All of this is coming from someone that typically likes superhero flicks. I can honestly say that I look forward to each X-Men and Spider-Man sequel and even enjoyed last year’s Fantastic Four. I am not against Kal-El, by any means, either. When I was a kid, I watched The Adventures Of Superman on KidsWB and Smallville remains one of my favorite current television programs. Knowing all of that, it shouldn’t be too difficult to believe that I was looking forward to Superman Returns. Therefore, I don’t just disapprove of the motion picture, I’m also disappointed with it.

     Speaking of Smallville, it is important to note that any theatrical version of the superhero would suffer from high expectations due to the series. Smallville (including its engaging stories and its powerful cast) has spoiled Superman fans all over the world. It really doesn’t get any better than that.

     The actor that plays young Clark Kent on Smallville, Tom Welling, would have been a much better choice to wear the red cape in the movie than Brandon Routh. Both look the part (with Routh winning the age battle), but Welling can act circles around Routh. Instead of getting an actor that can play Clark Kent – the heart and soul of Superman – we get one that looks like him and plays the guy in blue tights. It is not too hard to fly (the special effects department does all of the work) but it is very hard to be a mild mannered reporter… at least judging by Routh’s limited number of scenes requiring him to actually perform. He isn’t given room to flex his acting muscles but the taste we do get of them is hardly impressive.

     Each of the other actors is commendable, though. Leading the pack is Kevin Spacey, who is perfectly malevolent as Lex Luthor. He is a bit older than the rest of the cast, adding to the average fan’s disappointment, but he manages to be as an animatedly scary villain. His delivery of an outlandish speech to a captive Lois Lane is surprisingly effective. Speaking of Ms. Lane, Kate Bosworth makes brunettes proud as Superman’s love interest. Her only shortcoming is not displaying enough of the bite and sass for which Lois is known. Finally, the scene-stealer of Superman Returns is Sam Huntington, who plays Jimmy Olsen. I can’t imagine a better actor than Huntington to play the part of Clark’s young buddy. He has the comic timing needed to make the small scenes in the offices of the Daily Planet stand out.

     The basic plot of Superman Returns begins where the last in the franchise, Superman III (starring real-life Superman Christopher Reeve), left off. Lex is out of prison due to the fact that Superman failed to be present in court as the key witness. Along with Kitty Kowalski, played by Parker Posey, Lex begins to put his latest evil scheme into motion by stealing the crystals in Superman’s arctic fortress. Meanwhile, Clark returns to his old job as a reporter at the Daily Planet after an extended absence. Jimmy explains to him that Lois is engaged to editor Perry White’s (Frank Langella) nephew, Richard played by James Marsden. Lois also has a son, Jason, played by Tristan Lake Leabu.

     When Lex begins to experiment with one of the stolen crystals, strange things happen all around Metropolis, including a blackout. Lois is among many members of the press aboard an aircraft that is carrying a space shuttle. Lex’s experiment affects the aircraft and it looks as if the jetliner is destined for space. Clark sees the trouble on television and blasts into superhero mode. In spectacular fashion, Superman prevents the plane from being carried into the galaxy and, within just a few feet, stops it from crashing into a baseball stadium. Everyone is excited about Superman’s return… everyone except Lois, of course, who is still sore over him leaving her.

     Lex is also unhappy about Superman’s return, but he takes precautions by stealing a chunk of kryptonite – Superman’s one weakness – from a museum. The bald man’s plan finally fully develops as it is clear that he will sprout an island from Superman’s crystals and the kryptonite. In doing so, the entire East coast of the United States will be surmounted by water, he will own a piece of brand new land and Superman will be powerless to stop him. Lois’s curiosity lands her and her son in Lex’s clutches, as well. Even the guy that is more powerful than a locomotive may be unable to save Lois and the rest of the world from Lex this time.

     It is a shame that Superman Returns is a sequel rather than a brand new franchise. Last year, Batman Begins reinvented the dark knight and the movie was one of the year’s best. It is a little difficult to pick up on the various details carried over from the last installment in the Superman saga (which was released 23 years ago). There are a number of plot holes that I will refrain from mentioning due to their integral parts in the film’s outcome. However, it is impossible for anyone that knows the Superman stories to ignore these very obvious discrepancies. Even newcomers will see a number of incongruent facts, rendering the movie’s own set of rules rather useless.

     Even Superman himself suffers from the movie’s sloppiness. The Superman that most of us know would never have used his x-ray vision to spy on a private discussion between Lois and Richard in their own home, yet he does here. It gives the superhero an undesirable creepiness that Spider-Man and Batman never exhibited. Then there is the comprehensive suspension of disbelief that Superman Returns requires. Nobody draws a connection between Clark and Superman leaving and coming back at the same time. Fortunately, we do get a cute scene involving Lois’s son possibly realizing the truth when he sees Superman’s picture on a television behind Clark. Still, the other characters must be pretty dim.

     Complaints aside, Superman Returns does deliver as a summer blockbuster. There are plenty amazing special effects sequences. Director Bryan Singer, who also directed the first two X-Men features, does a great job at bringing the ultimate superhero back to the big screen. It is nonstop fun and certainly exciting enough to take your breath away. Its two and a half hour running time promises an event type movie but audiences will have to settle for just a good one.

     As I’ve said, there is no shame in being a good movie. However, when you are making a movie starring the most popular superhero ever created, it has to be better than good. It is the difference between liking Superman Returns and loving it. Some of the problems come prepackaged with the man of steel but there are many that are freshly produced. The long awaited motion picture has a lot of potential but falls short of greatness. It is thrilling yet it won’t blow you away, it is affecting yet it won’t seriously move you and it is fun yet it won’t linger in your mind for very long. Of course, none of this would have been a problem if the movie was titled Goodman Returns.