How to Eat Fried Worms Cooks Up Family Fun

     Walden Media has the perfect recipe for a family flick in How to Eat Fried Worms. The movie, based on the children’s book by the same title, revolves around a young boy who arrives at a new school only to be duped into a bet with the school bully. He must now spend his Saturday eating disgusting, creepy crawlers. School age kids will be enthralled with this motion picture, which features a few bright spots for adults as well. It is short, harmless and surprisingly fresh cinematic fare that the whole family can enjoy.

Turbulent Snakes on a Plane Ridiculously Fun

     The only movie with a sillier title than Snakes on a Plane is the upcoming Let’s Go to Prison. The movie, which stars Samuel L. Jackson and has developed quite the Internet following, takes the inane storyline of an action star releasing a plethora of poisonous snakes on a jetliner to kill a witness who is going to testify against him. Many of the snakes are absurdly fake in appearance but there the feature will certainly entertain moviegoers. It’s good for a laugh and even better for a thrill.

Accepted Rejected

     Justin Long of Jeepers Creepers and TV’s Ed fame is the only highlight of an otherwise average motion picture in Accepted. The movie is about a high school graduate played by Long, who gets rejected by every college to which he applies. He leases a vacant building and accepts himself into a fake university but technology goes awry and numerous other students get accepted, too. Unfortunately, most of the jokes fall flat as a result of the flick’s lack of logic.

Material Girls Has No Heart

     Hilary Duff stars alongside her sister Haley Duff in Material Girls, a decent effort at a chick flick with very little true substance. The plot revolves around the sisters in the roles of close-to-real-life characters, heiresses to the Marchetta cosmetics company, dealing with the downfall of their father’s beloved business. It has a significant lack of laughs or any applicable life moral but it remains a suitable choice for mothers and daughters who wish to spend a little cinematic time with one another.

Step Up Stage Too Full

     Step Up would have been a very good movie had it not tried so hard. There are various storylines added to the mix that don’t add anything other than a few extra minutes to the movie. The movie tries its hardest to be more important that it actually is but it looks just like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Step Up is fun and it should have settled for that. If it did, moviegoers would have been in for a real treat.

     Instead, Step Up is an example of adding too many characters to an already full feature film. It is a decent romance with some great music but the inclusion of these minor characters that have nothing to do one minute and come center stage the next make the movie feel too crowded for its own good. Regardless, it is worth a look if only for the star-making performance by Jenna Dewan.

     Dewan stars as Nora, a student at a school for the arts. When Tyler, played by Channing Tatum, breaks into the school with a couple of his friends he is ordered to community service within the school as part of the cleaning staff. One day while watching Nora struggle to find a substitute partner for her showcase dance routine, Tyler offers his services to her and impresses her with his different-but-adequate dancing abilities.

     Tyler’s newfound interest angers his friends who notice his absence in their clique. Tyler struggles with his desire to make something of himself and his budding attraction to Nora. When Nora’s old partner returns, Tyler is placed on the sidelines and it looks like his dreams of dancing must dissipate and his romance with the wealthy Nora will fade away with it.

     Step Up is an entertaining motion picture with some very strong performances. Dewan, who starred in this year’s surprise horror hit Tamara, continues her on-screen appeal and promises to go far in the entertainment industry. The music will have you on your feet and the romance is sure to steam up your glasses but the subplots will leave you, at least somewhat, with two left feet.

Pulse Has A Faulty Modem

     Horror movies should not be rated (PG-13). In not aiming for an (R) rating, filmmakers not only hold back the scares and make the horror flick less interesting but they are also responsible for inviting kids and teens to act incredibly immature. Case in point: While watching Pulse I had to listen to faux-screaming from a group of teen moviegoers. I suppose that is wasn’t their fault, though, that Pulse was funnier than it was scary.

     That is probably why the release date for Pulse was pushed back a few months. Originally slated for release in the middle of the summer, the studio decided to hold off on the flick until the dog days between summer and fall – a typical timeframe for bombs. There are no legitimate moments of fright in Pulse, only ridiculously cheesy moments worthy of hearty laughter.

     Pulse stars Kristen Bell as Mattie, a college student trying to contact her missing boyfriend Josh. When she finally locates him he kills himself. It is soon discovered that there is a epidemic of such suicidal behavior around the world. Mattie’s friends begin disappearing one by one so she tracks down the guy that bought Josh’s computer for clues.

     This guy is Dexter, played by Ian Somerhalder, and he shows Mattie a freaky video that automatically plays on Josh’s old computer. They come to the conclusion that ghosts are being transmitted through the various communication signals looking for lives to steal. They must decide between fleeing to a dead zone to escape the terror or try to eliminate the deadly computer virus unleashed by Josh.

     Pulse is a step up from other recent attempts at ghost stories like The Ring and The Grudge but other horror movies like Saw and Hostel flatten everything that Pulse tries. The acting in the movie is despicable and the peculiar ending will leave even the most hardcore horror fans shrugging their shoulders. Pulse has the right style – dialing in the perfect cinematography and scary set-ups – but there is no payoff to this technical bore.

Zoom Dawdles

     Tim Allen is making himself a family flick staple. His latest project, Zoom, may feel a bit familiar. That is because a very similar movie called Sky High was released last year. The two movies both feature the training grounds for young superheroes but only one of them is worth a watch. Sky High was an action-packed special effects extravaganza able to appeal to both kids and adults. Zoom is the exact opposite.

     The special effects in Zoom are below average and there is a distinct lack of action until the final act. Unfortunately, the movie is not cute or witty enough for adults and the relatively sluggish pace won’t please youngsters either. Most of the feature is set within the confines of a laboratory which is about as interesting as the title itself. At least Sky High was set at a high school above the clouds.

     Allen stars as Jack Shepard a.k.a. Captain Zoom – a former superhero with the ability to move at very rapid speeds. He is called back into action by Dr. Grant, played by Chevy Chase, who is taking orders from Rip Torn’s General Larraby. Also along for the ride is Marsha Holloway, played by Courtney Cox, who is a fan of the comic books based on Captain Zoom’s exploits. Jack is not happy to return to the lab but a lucrative salary convinces him to grit his teeth through it.

     Once at the laboratory, Jack is in charge of recruiting new superheroes – school-aged kids with unnatural abilities. The ones who make the cut are a teen boy who can disappear, a teen girl with telekinetic powers, a young boy who can expand his various body parts and a young girl with super-strength. Jack must train them for an unknown mission but he isn’t the only one that isn’t willing to participate.

     None of the kids are even close to being adorable (especially young Cindy, played by Ryan Newman, whose voice and demeanor may be the most annoying things I had to suffer through this year) and Allen doesn’t appear to be putting his heart into Zoom. Chase and Torn are wasted and Cox is generic, as usual. Of all the superhero flicks to be released this year Zoom is definitely the worst.

World Trade Center Universally Powerful

     World Trade Center is an astounding motion picture with probably more heart than any other movie this year. However, being supreme doesn’t equal perfection. 2004 saw a movie with a similar plot minus the truth in Ladder 49, a movie that starred John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix. While World Trade Center portrays the tragic events of September 11th without crossing any uncomfortable lines it still falls significantly short of the high bar set by Ladder 49.

     Oliver Stone does an exceptional job in presenting an uplifting and heartfelt story in World Trade Center without bringing any politics or unnecessary melodrama to the film. However, while his direction is great it isn’t really definitive and the result is somewhat generic. Anybody could have directed World Trade Center since it doesn’t have the style that a landmark feature of this caliber deserves to have.

     World Trade Center stars Nicholas Cage and Michael Pena as John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno, respectively, two of the many police officers that went inside of the World Trade Center following the tragic act of terrorism. When the towers collapsed, John and Will are stuck in the rubble. The movie tells their story of survival as well as the stories of their wives, played by Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who sat idly by holding less than a thread of hope of their husbands returning.

     The scenes that represent the terror within the towers before they collapse are absolutely terrific and had there been a few more of them instead of running full steam ahead into the rubble then World Trade Center could have been among the year’s best. Instead, it will have to just settle for being the second best movie about September 11th this year. United 93 wins the grand prize for its documentary style and lingering suspense with heart-stopping payoff.

     There are still many reasons that you should see World Trade Center, though. In fact, it is a flick that every American should see. The movie reveals the good that humankind is still capable of. There are heroes among us – everyday supermen – and World Trade Center portrays two of them along with numerous others that risked their own lives to save them.

Boynton Beach Club Doesn’t Need A Walker

     Earlier this year, Curious George hit the big screen appealing to youngsters and only youngsters. The movie was pretty bad, but you have to respect a flick that knows its target audience. A similar respect is due to Boynton Beach Club except it appeals to older moviegoers and it is not a bad movie at all. If studios release motion pictures geared toward children then it only seems fair that they also release them geared toward the other extreme of the age spectrum.

      Boynton Beach Club is surprisingly fun, even if it is ridiculously cliché and has a cast of very cartoonish characters. Naturally, the movie about a bereavement club for senior citizens in a retirement community features material that is most appreciated by older moviegoers but the general storylines won’t feel too foreign for all other audiences. It is possible for just about anyone to have a good time while watching these hip seniors do their thing.

      Boynton Beach Club follows a few members of a bereavement club through a somewhat difficult time for each of them. Dyan Cannon plays Lois, a woman who falls for Don, played by Michael Nouri. Len Cariou is Jack, a man who finds it very hard to be intimate with anyone after his wife’s passing, despite the strong flirtations from Sally Kellerman’s Sandy.

     Meanwhile, Joseph Bologna plays Jack, a man looking for love over the internet. Then there is Brenda Vaccaro who stars as Marilyn, a woman faced with the anger she feels toward the neighbor that senselessly killed her husband by talking on a cell phone while driving. Each of the characters have different problems but they discover that just knowing each other can make all the difference in the world.

     As a 20-something, I truly enjoyed watching Boynton Beach Club and found it to be a particularly fun feature film. That said, I am sure that older moviegoers will absolutely love the movie and take even more out of it than I did. Those outside the target audience shouldn’t avoid “The Boynton Beach Club,” though, as it will certainly amuse them. Think of it this way – if it doesn’t now, it definitely will eventually.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby Goes Nowhere Fast

     Will Ferrell needs to stop making goofy comedies. His shtick works sometimes, as in A Night at the Roxbury and Elf, but mostly it winds up being fatally annoying, as in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and, now, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. His track record just isn’t great enough for him to keep doing this to audiences. As it turns out – the dumber the title, the dumber the movie.

      Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby wouldn’t be nearly as bad as it actually is if it weren’t so choppy. Much like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, this flick is likely to have a DVD loaded with unused extras – some of which are prone to being funnier than the material that made the final cut. The result is a movie that was edited with a heavy hand and, because of that, it feels more like a series of sketches tied together with a very loose plot than a real live motion picture.

      Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby stars Ferrell as the title character, Ricky Bobby, the number one NASCAR champion. All is well with the victor – who has a beautiful wife named Carley, played by Leslie Bibb, a faithful friend and teammate named Cal, played by John C. Reilly, and two alpha-male sons named Walker and Texas Ranger – until a French Formula One driver named Jean Girard, played by Sacha Baron Cohen, enters the scene.

     Suddenly, everything is taken away from Ricky Bobby, including (or so he thinks) his ability to use his legs. With nowhere else to go, Ricky Bobby and his two rebellious sons head home to his mother, played by Jane Lynch. Eventually, his long-lost father, played by Gary Cole, returns to his life and tries to get Ricky Bobby to get back on the horse… or at least back behind the steering wheel.

      Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy worked in a few ways since it was, above all, an ensemble comedy. There was witty banter and a variety of characters while in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby we get one guy – Ricky Bobby – and numerous tiny supporting roles. NASCAR fans may get a kick out of the way the movie deals with advertising and product placement but everyone else, including most Ferrell fans, won’t be too pleased.

Barnyard: The Original Party Animals Smells of Manure

     There have quite a few animated flicks released this summer. Movies about ants, haunted houses, cars and woodland critters made for some of the best entertainment of the year so far. Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, the latest computer-animated feature to hit theatres, is certainly fun but it lacks that extra special something that each of those other movies I referenced had. It is among the weaker animated efforts of the year.

     I am a devoted fan of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. Seeing as the folks behind that gem are responsible for Barnyard: The Original Party Animals I expected to have a blast with this flick. That is definitely not the case, though, since I saw more flaws in the motion picture than strengths. That is not to say that the movie isn’t fun for kids – it will undoubtedly hold their attention and make them laugh – it just doesn’t transcend demographics and have lasting appeal like, say, Cars.

      Barnyard: The Original Party Animals focuses on a farm full of animals who walk and talk like humans when their farmer isn’t watching. The main character is a cow named Otis, voiced by Kevin James, who enjoys a life of luxury while his father, Ben, voiced by Sam Elliott, assures everyone’s safety. Some coyotes threaten the entire flock of livestock, though, and it comes time for Otis to take responsibility for the first time in his life.

     My biggest complaint with Barnyard: The Original Party Animals is one I usually hate to read about from other critics. The movie is just one big rip-off of better animated flicks. On the lightest level, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals steals the looks of their characters from Over the Hedge (the turtles) and Loonatics Unleashed (the coyotes). More importantly, though, it steals vital plot points and basic storylines from The Lion King and Home on the Range. It often thinks itself to be more important that it really is, too.

      Barnyard: The Original Party Animals is worth seeing, especially if you are a parent of a young child, but I can’t support an average animated flick when there are numerous stronger efforts quickly deteriorating at the box office. Monster House hit the ground running but is fading fast while The Ant Bully, the summer’s best animated movie, never even had a chance. Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, which secured $16 million during its opening weekend, simply does not deserve to outperform those superior features.

The Night Listener Worth Tuning Into

     Some of Robin Williams’s best acting occurs in small, dark motion pictures like One Hour Photo and The Big White. That tradition continues in The Night Listener, a Hitchcockian thriller inspired by true events. It is a sincerely suspenseful mind-bender that requires the moviegoer to come to their own conclusions and allows them to become totally engulfed in the sinister world in which it takes place.

     Besides the stupendous Williams, the movie also stars Toni Collette who gives one of the best performances of her career. The Night Listener is a psychological trip – that is for sure – but I was surprised to discover that the feature is actually quite scary. There is no blood or gore, just extremely eerie surroundings and very creepy characters enveloped within an honestly spellbinding story.

     Williams stars as Gabriel Noone, a late-night radio show host, in The Night Listener. Gabriel is in the midst of a difficult breakup with his boyfriend Jess, played by Bobby Cannavale, when he begins conversing, via telephone, with his biggest fan – a young boy named Pete, played by Rory Culkin. Pete is hoping to publish a non-fiction book about how he was sexually abused and is now living with AIDS.

     Pete is being taken care of by Donna Logand, Collette, who Gabriel also speaks with quite often. Jess points out that Pete and Donna’s voices sound oddly similar and this leads Gabriel to believe that Pete does not really exist. His friend Anna, played by Sandra Oh, shares the sentiment and Gabriel decides to take a trip to visit his two phone-pals and eventually finds himself in the middle of one of the strangest unsolved mysteries of all time.

     Truth be told, there is still something to be desired by the end of The Night Listener as it is only 80% satisfying. There are a couple of trip-ups along the path (If Pete doesn’t exist then why do we see him in the beginning of the film?) but the majority of the flick is hard-hitting entertainment. The story will keep you guessing from start to way beyond the final credits and you will most certainly have a chill down your spine. The Night Listener joins the ranks of some of the best motion pictures of the summer.

Miami Vice All Style, No Action

     Michael Mann usually makes movies that overflow with action and teem with style. While the latter of these two traits made the final cut of the lengthy Miami Vice, the former somehow missed the boat. The feel of the undercover cop picture may have changed since its television debut but it is definitely still present on the big screen. Unfortunately, the action is comparatively M.I.A.

     The plot suffers a similar fate ending up being a confusing mess that is as disorganized as it is convoluted. The audience won’t have trouble staying interested in the events being unfolded on the screen due to the overwhelming star power of Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell who lend themselves to the lead characters of the flick. However, the attention is more of a dumbfounded stare than it is being sincerely entertained.

     Foxx stars as Detective Ricardo Tubbs while Farrell stars as Detective James Crockett in Miami Vice, the roles made famous in the 1980’s television action/drama. While investigating a cocaine dealer, the duo becomes dangerously intertwined with a life of crime. Their love lives are at stake, especially since Crockett falls for the lovely Isabella, played by Gong Li, who is one of the folks that they are investigating.

     Aside from a few fast cars and boats and a couple of shootouts, there isn’t much to get worked up over in Miami Vice. Fans of the series may dislike the altered look due to the passing of time but that is the least of everyone’s worries. Miami Vice results in a gigantic waste of Mann’s talent for filming action sequences. What is there is gruesomely realistic but there may as well have been nothing at all. It is bloated with style and lacking in occurrence.

John Tucker Must Die Must Die

     Those expecting an Oscar-caliber motion picture from John Tucker Must Die will be despondently disappointed. That much is not all too surprising. However, what is surprising is that those expecting a decently funny flick from it will also be let down. There are hardly any laughs in the feature and even less intelligence. Unfortunately, even for a stupid movie John Tucker Must Die is incredibly dumb.

     The movie fails to follow its own general rules, contradicting itself at every turn. At one point, a relatively intelligent young woman waits for the male lead in his vehicle and the next scene she feigns worry that a stranger is stalking her when she sees the vehicle outside her house. John Tucker Must Die is filled with ridiculously unrealistic events even for teenage cinematic fare standards.

     John Tucker Must Die tells the story of a group of girls who are being cheated on by the most popular guy in school – John Tucker, played by Jesse Metcalf of the television soap opera Passions. The girls, played by Ashanti, Sophia Bush and Arielle Kebbel enlist the level-headed Kate, played by Brittany Snow, to flirt with John and quickly break his heart as an act of revenge.

     Things go awry, though, when Kate begins to fall for John, despite her single mother (Jenny McCarthy) constantly bringing home unreliable guys. This upsets the three girls and John’s brother, played by Penn Badgley, who has a crush on Kate. Only time will tell if Kate is able to complete her task without becoming completely smitten by John as well as hated by the entire high school student body.

     The movie looks amusing and there are a few clever ideas in the midst of the main plot. Still, there is not enough to make John Tucker Must Die worth seeing. The acting fails, the character development stinks, the jokes are beyond lame and, worst of all, the happy ending of this dark comedy falls completely flat. Even easily pleased teenage girls won’t be love-struck by John Tucker Must Die

The Descent Ascends Scarier Than Good

     The Descent presents several very scary moments. These moments are not your typical startles but actually legitimate scares – the kind not easily found at your neighborhood multiplex. Had the movie featured a more interesting group of characters and the story not been somewhat tainted by confusingly unrelated events, The Descent could have been a horror masterpiece. Instead, it will have to make due with just being scary.

     That is nothing to underestimate, though. As a horror fan, I know how hard it is to find a horror movie that offers anything truly frightening. The Descent is more than truly frightening – it is downright bloodcurdling. The thing that makes The Descent so scary is the setting, a pitch-black cave in which there is no known way out. Watching the flick in a dark movie theatre makes one feel as though they are right there inside of the cave… with the ugly creatures.

     As for said creatures, they aren’t really needed to make The Descent a thrilling motion picture. The movie is gripping enough with the dangers of being lost inside of a cave. However, when the creatures appear, The Descent turns into a completely different feature film. It goes from being gripping to terrifying. Blood and gore are quite plentiful as well but, much like the creatures, you can’t see much due to the darkness of the cave. I honestly don’t think you would want to see anymore than is visible, though.

     On the other hand, The Descent tumbles quite a bit on its way to the scares. The characters fail to be distinctive enough to get to know or even tell apart. The motion picture could take a lesson from a horror flick like Jeepers Creepers which features characters that are as unusual as they are intriguing. After all, most horror flicks are driven by their characters (even if at times they are stereotypical). The Descent is hardly an exception, either, since the prologue sets up the main character’s background and a great deal of the storyline depends on the characters’ relationships with each other.

     The Descent begins with a tragic car accident that kills a woman’s husband and children. One year later, the woman, Sarah played by Shauna Macdonald, is on her way to a weekend escape with some of her closest friends. The women travel to a cave and begin their exploration. When they start to get lost, the women discover that the cave is not the one they had intended to investigate and is actually a completely undiscovered region. Soon, a collapse blocks their entry (and thus only known exit) and the women find themselves trapped within the cave. Just when it seems that things can’t get any worse, the women learn that they are being hunted by a bunch of gruesome creatures.

     I had the opportunity to screen the original uncut version of The Descent that was released in the U.K. There are rumors that the film is going to have 90 seconds chopped off of its finale for its release in the United States. Such an edit sounds like it wouldn’t change much but those 90 seconds are integral to the entire plot. Without them, the movie lacks a certain discussion-provoking element. I refuse to spoil the ending either way, but I do hope that Lions Gate leaves the ending completely intact.

     Quite frankly, The Descent is one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. It’s just a shame it isn’t a better one.

Scoop Scores With Scraps

     Until last year Woody Allen was in a horrible rut. He made film after film that was accepted by neither critics nor audiences. However, with Match Point, the director’s foray into drama, he had an Academy Award nominated piece of cinema that was embraced by audiences. He didn’t waste any time with his newfound success as his newest work, Scoop, is now in theatres and features the female lead of Match Point.

     Of course, Scoop is a leap from Match Point considering Allen has an acting role in Scoop and it is his return to comedy. All of his chips are on the table with this flick and luckily he has come out ahead. That is not to say that Scoop is great or that it is even close to being as masterful as Match Point. Scoop is what it is – an above average Allen comedy that fan’s will love and everyone else will mildly enjoy.

     As with all of Allen’s comedies, though, a very dry sense of humor is required to get anything out of the jokes. Sometimes they work and other times they don’t (fortunately, the majority leans toward the former) but there aren’t any moments were the typical moviegoer will laugh-out-loud. Scoop is more of a smiling motion picture than a laughing one. It is best just to sit back, relax and enjoy.

     Perhaps the thing that makes Scoop a more effective feature than, say, Small Time Crooks or The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion is its elaborate plot. Much like Match Point, the movie’s storyline can’t be summed up in one sentence. This shows that Allen has learned something from his dramatic success. Judging by this effort, it is a good idea for Allen to place greater importance on the tale than the gags because when the tale works the gags come naturally – especially to a great filmmaker like Allen.

     The plot in question involves a recently deceased newspaper reporter named Joe Strombel, played by Ian McShane, who receives an amazing scoop on the Tarot Card Killer in the afterlife. Summoning as much power as he can, Strombel haunts (so-to-speak) college newspaper reporter Sondra Pransky, played by Scarlett Johansson, during a magic show to inform her of the scoop.

     When Sondra tries to explain the supernatural event to the magician, Sid Waterman, played by Allen, he does not believe her until he sees Strombel with his own two eyes. Based on the scoop, the duo, pretending to be father and daughter, infiltrates the society of millionaire and possible-serial-killer Peter Lyman, played by Hugh Jackman. The impossible task of uncovering the truth is only worsened when Sondra falls for Peter’s charms.

     Scoop will not win over folks that have yet to like an Allen comedy but it is a worthwhile way to spend an hour and a half. Allen has made better but he has also made a lot worse. The star power is there – despite Johansson’s irritating attempts to mirror Allen’s comedic aura – and the story is enough to go off of even without the laughs. It is nice to see that Allen can still do comedy although I, for one, would love to see him do another stellar drama.