London

“London” is like stumbling into a conversation that is really of no consequence to yourself and way too wordy to mean anything in the grander sense but impossible to walk away from. Who knew yuppie cocaine addicts were so absorbing?

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Date Movie

There is a reason that the jokes in the “Scary Movie” flicks work (at least most of the time): the majority of horror flicks are meant to be taken seriously and when parodied the results are quite clever. “Date Movie,” which parodies romantic comedies, basically tries to make jokes out of things that are already jokes.

Instead of being 200% more clever, the results here are 400% less funny.

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Cinematic Footprints: Part 4 – Cellular

The Popcorn Journal presents the fourth installment of a captivatingly original series, Cinematic Footprints, encompassing the attributes of three Oscar-caliber motion pictures and three typically underestimated flicks. The series, which was written by Joey Airdo as an honors thesis assignment for Arizona State University, runs weekly (on Sundays) in fourteen segments throughout the spring of 2006.

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Running Scared

“Running Scared” is an intense experience. In fact, it is so intense, that this film critic had a mild heart attack in the movie theatre.

Actually, that last statement is a white lie. While “Running Scared” really is one of the most intense movies I have ever seen, I did not suffer any sort of illness. I just wanted to trick you with a lie – something the writers of “Running Scared” do numerous times.

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Eight Below

There is one major attribute that makes “Eight Below” a more reliable movie than the 2002 flop “Snow Dogs” – the Huskies are treated with respect. In other words, these pups don’t talk (not even in fantasy sequences). Unfortunately, the woman that sat behind me in the theatre saw this as a shortcoming so she voluntarily provided the dogs’ dialogue herself.

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Freedomland

Julianne Moore has a tendency to lose her children. In 2004, her son suddenly disappeared in “The Forgotten.” Now, in “Freedomland,” she has an entire county looking for her son after being carjacked. Both movies make Moore look like a complete lunatic but at least “The Forgotten” knew what story elements it wanted to focus on.

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Curious George

“Curious George” is less fun than a barrel of sea monkeys. Both are simply adorable at first but said amusement is time-limited. Neither do enough to occupy younger children nor offer anything substantial to peak the interest of adults. That leaves appeal a very minimal age range.

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Cinematic Footprints: Part 3 – Bubble Boy (cont.)

The Popcorn Journal presents the third installment of a captivatingly original series, Cinematic Footprints, encompassing the attributes of three Oscar-caliber motion pictures and three typically underestimated flicks. The series, which was written by Joey Airdo as an honors thesis assignment for Arizona State University, runs weekly (on Sundays) in fourteen segments throughout the spring of 2006.

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Firewall

“Firewall” is a mind-blowing, intellectual thriller – until the final scene, which is basically your average inconceivable action sequence. It dumbs down the movie and creates a distinct separation between the two elements the flick utilizes. Yet, “Firewall” is still a worthwhile watch.

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The Pink Panther

I laughed out loud four times while watching “The Pink Panther.” I had not expected to laugh even once prior to seeing the film. Using my keen math skills as a journalism major, zero multiplied by four equals… well, it just so happens to be impossible to explain the exponential laughter increase in this case. Therefore, it is my responsibility to give props to this horrible movie.

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When A Stranger Calls

“When A Stranger Calls” is the ideal bubble gum horror cutlet. It generates a genuinely eerie atmosphere that is steadily consistent for an hour and a half. Of course, tension builds and then lets loose at the ultimate climactic moment – almost without an ounce of bloodshed. Such a quality is just what some people go to the movies for.

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Cinematic Footprints: Part 2 – Bubble Boy

The Popcorn Journal presents the second installment of a captivatingly original series, Cinematic Footprints, encompassing the attributes of three Oscar-caliber motion pictures and three typically underestimated flicks. The series, which was written by Joey Airdo as an honors thesis assignment for Arizona State University, runs weekly (on Sundays) in fourteen segments throughout the spring of 2006.

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Annapolis

“Annapolis” is overly simple, a rip-off of other similar movies, and features a finale that you wouldn’t necessarily expect in a naval academy flick. Despite all of that (and perhaps, at least in part, as a result of it), I really enjoyed “Annapolis.”

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Big Momma's House 2

“Big Momma’s House 2” can best be described as a hybrid of other feature films. Martin Lawrence once again wears the fat suit, so naturally the flick is at least part “Big Momma’s House.” Kids are involved this time, since Big Momma plays the part of a nanny, leading me to believe this movie has a fair amount of “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

Finally, I am sure there is at least a splash of “Boogeyman,” my LEAST Favorite Flick Of 2005. My reasoning is simple – “Big Momma’s House 2” is already one of my LEAST Favorite Flicks Of 2006.

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Nanny McPhee

Children aim to misbehave.

Or at least that is how recent trend movies like “Cheaper By The Dozen 2” and “Yours, Mine, And Ours” portray them. Fortunately for the parents of such big cinematic families, England has a simple solution.

The person they need is Nanny McPhee.

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Cinematic Footprints: Part 1 – The Introduction

The Popcorn Journal presents the first installment of a captivatingly original series, Cinematic Footprints, encompassing the attributes of three Oscar-caliber motion pictures and three typically underestimated flicks. The series, which was written by Joey Airdo as an honors thesis assignment for Arizona State University, runs weekly (on Sundays) in fourteen segments throughout the spring of 2006.

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Underworld: Evolution

Here is my theory of how “Underworld: Evolution” entered existence: A few nerdy science-fiction fans got to the last scene of the original movie and one turned to another and said, “Hey… what happens next?” The other replied, “Oh, wow, dude… we should totally do that!”

That is when I believe they ran out of ideas.

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Tristan & Isolde

“Tristan & Isolde” is a tragic love story appealing to the predominantly younger female crowd. It is important to point out that I am not of that demographic. However, I find it difficult to believe even the target audience would be enchanted by this typical tale.

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Hostel

Until now, I believed the single most disturbing scene in cinema to be the shaving sequence in Eli Roth’s “Cabin Fever.” Who better to tie that title than Roth himself with an excruciatingly gruesome sequence in “Hostel” featuring a blowtorch, a pair of scissors, and an eyeball.

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Grandma's Boy

Contrary to popular belief, it is difficult to insult a movie like “Grandma’s Boy.” Yes, it is stupid and juvenile and no, it does not contribute a lick to society or the cinema. However, who would ever think a movie called “Grandma’s Boy” would do any of that? So, how can you hold that against it?

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